Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Sports Sexting

"Would you like to touch my "front bottom"" I ask her.
I quote Ben Kingsley while walking to my car.
Halfway there she informs me
"I think you are too skinny for one those"

"I think you misunderstood what I was referring too"
I say getting my car
"Thats OK though, I can always just "take my talents to south beach" and do it myself"
"What?" she responds

"You've never taken your talents to south beach?"
"I dont know if my talents are south beach material"
"I always picture you to have at least 2 vibrators" I tell her.
She tells me she has 2 small ones, because she doesn't like those big dildos
 unless someone is using one on her.

She tells me "that not really a  talent though"
"Its the only one i got"
"It something even the talentless can do"
This is a girl who does not appreciate practice

I ask her if she wants to play " a round 1 on 1..."
"...or perhaps some HORSE"
" I can play a good game"
"Short but sweet"

I tell her the only rule I have
"IS you must dribble" 
"dribble like spit or ball handling?" she asks
I realize this has gotten out of hand, and I think thats a good thing.

I respond " The latter, when it comes to the former I expect you
to take a foul like a big girl and swallow.
Otherwise I might miss my next foul shot and you dont want
the ball to wind up in the stands"

She doesn't respond
"When you wanna play ball I ask"
" I am not one for basketball she says"
I always knew she was a racist

"We can play baseball i say and take it slow
but i might end up on 2nd pretty quickly"
she doesn't respond
I hate women.

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