Tuesday, June 12, 2012

The Pythagorean Jew

Ratio's are better then percentages pragmatically speaking.
If I tell you a Rubel is worth 2/3's of a Shekel
You can contemplate what a sixteen Shekel radio costs in rubles. 

When tipping we Jews,are known as thrifty.
I think, that calculating the right percentage is rather annoying.
And people, including Jews, and myself are lazy.

I will thus be the first Pythagorean Jew, and invent
A way to calculate tips, using ratios instead of percentages.
Enclosed below are the new tipping rules of the Pythagorean Jew

Rule A. If your table brought less then 10 dollars, leave at least 5 on the table.
Rule A1. At least 2 dollars per person for a table over 3 people, but under 10 dollars.

Rule B. If the service was abysmally bad, tip nothing, but I mean abysmally bad.

Rule C. If the service was real bad tip 10%. That's easy to calculate using ratios.
Thats 1 dollar for every 10 you spend. Always round up.
So on a check of 43.57...tip comes to 4.35, but leave a 5...and ONLY IF SERVICE WAS BAD.

Rule D. Otherwise leave between 17-20%
Rule E This is easy to calculate.
Give either 1 doller for every 5 spent or 1 dollar for every 6 spent.

Remember your 5 and 6 division tables, and they might help you.
If the total is divisible by 6 like a check of 72$ dollars, put 1 dollar for every 6 spent.
72/6= 12

If its divisible by 5 or 10 use 1 dollar for every 5 spent.
So for a check of  55$---55/5= 11.
If the number ends in a 1 round down to the 0 digits and use 1/5
So for a check of 51$ you but 1/5 of 50 or 10.

In general just round up or down to the closest number divisible by either 6 or 5,
and then calculate.
This way you always give 17.5-20% of the tip,
and dont look like a piece of shit for whipping out you calculator.

This is the Jewiest poem ever written, and perhaps the worst.
But it was a poem about the practice of Pythagorean pragmatism
When it comes to avoiding stereotypes in restaurants.

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