When my family came to this country, when I was 6; we had three suitcases of clothes, a kettle, A small kennel for our poodle and $560.
Toys r Us was like Lebec Fin.
I got maybe a dollar store toy every couple of months.
Usually some sort of set so that I could feel I got more toys than I actually had. A lego set or 2 on my birthdays from a "wealthy" aunt or uncle.
I peed my pants on my first day of kindergarten because I didn't know the language.
We came here legally.
I NEVER, EVER, EVER ; want anyone to tell me that they find that commendable.
Lucky, maybe. Lucky like someone who's able to get out of the projects.
But commendable...Fuck you.
I mean this without a shred of hyperbole.
To me that's the equivalent of the N-word.
It might not carry the historical resonance; but it's the most offensive thing you could comment about/to me.
That I'm "legal."
I've never felt legal.
Could you describe that feeling?
I didn't feel legal when we couldn't afford to go to McDonald's for the first 3 or 4 years we were here.
I didn't feel legal when my parents would have to leave me alone with my dog at 6 or 7 years old for many hours at a time, while they worked endlessly, with only our neighbor occasionally checking on me.
I felt alone, scared, isolated, misunderstood, and lonely.
We literally won something called a "lottery", to get the little we got and we didn't get much more than the people who came here by other means.
Some papers of approval from some cunty, bougie, bureaucrats who could give two shits about us; and a quick kurt handshake from Jim Gardner from the news.
If you want to attack human traffickers and rapists, Fine.
Start with the synagogue and the church.
Don't forget to stop by the White House. I'm sure you'll get to that list of pedophiles to confront but it'll probably be redacted.
So you will move on to the Somalis like a good boy, because an illiterate white supremacist will tell you to.
I've seen people disregarded. Thrown away, looked down upon and condescended. I've seen cops throw my grandpa head first into the back of a police car because he couldn't speak English and wanted to testify that he was a witness to a crime. And my family had the benefit of white skin.
So If you think the word illegal means anything to me. Fuck you.
Your white suburban friends who sell coke and ketamine are more Illegal.
I know someone who came here "legally" whose mom had to prostitute herself to get raped by three guards as a bribe for a Green Card.
I know people who came here legally because someone helped get them over here legally and once they were here they were forced to use their fists for less than legal means until they could pay back their due, along with interest of course.
Legal and Illegal, they're virtually interchangeable.
But I'm glad that for you there's a distinction, about whether some bored apathetic and mentally exhausted cunt put the right stamp on a piece of paper before he went to lunch.
You pretend you don't like bureaucrats, but you could drown in your own red tape.
For you illegal is synonymous with criminal or rapist. Because that makes it easier.
Because it's easier to disregard them and their struggles if that's all they are.
They're illegal. They broke the law. A misdemeanor mind you. A misdemeanor.... which could turn into a death sentence. One that used to get solved with letters, and court dates.
I encountered three kinds of kids on the playground.
A few bullies - who threw away my foreign lunch because it was " disgusting".
A few friendlies who honestly wanted to help.
And all the other kids and adults too comfortable in their legality, their precious status, to ever pay any mind or attention to the struggles me and my family faced. My legal family.
The popular kids table is a lot longer than you think, and sometimes it feels like there will never be any room for you.
Following the law doesn't make you a good person. Not being a cunt doesn't make you a good person.
You throw out illegal like a pejorative.
You might not be the kid beating the kid up at the back of the bus. Sure. You might not even be one of the kids cheering. You're just the kid who looks the other way.
Meanwhile the bus driver's driving us off a cliff. Legal, Illegal, and Legacy alike.
